Careers

SEEKING: Entry-level CONTENT COMPOSER specializing in the curation of TWEETS and the payment of monthly CANVA bills for the streamlining of far-reaching CULTURAL LABOR. Must make daily posts at the hours of 10 AM, 12 PM, and 3 PM. REVERSE PAYMENT POLICY: YOU PAY ME. Interested? Email [email protected].

SEEKING: Diligent ANTI-HEDONIST ACTIVIST willing to picket outside the Upper West Side apartment of EARNEST, the Divine Messenger of sammysworld.org, for forty days and forty nights beginning on the evening of FEBRUARY 1, 2025. Must be willing to use TELEKINETIC FORCE to disperse evildoers who congregate near EARNEST’s residence. Interested? Email [email protected] with subject line “ANTI-HEDONIST APPLICATION.” You shall hear from Earnest shortly thereafter.